Follow Your Bliss

That phrase, spoken by the wonderful Joseph Campbell, has come to haunt me in the past few years.

What is my bliss? Should I be alarmed that the answer doesn't come to me as easily and quickly as the snap of my fingers? Why doesn't it come easily to me? What is it about being an adult that completely destroys one's sense of freedom and ease and fluidity of thought?

When you're a kid, you can be anything and do anything, and there's never an internal voice that pours icy water over those dreams. You make up stories on the fly without even thinking about how silly they seem - they just come out, and it's okay.

I think of what my bliss career-wise would be, and it's always the same: "I would like to do this BUT..." "I would like to do that BUT..." There's always an addendum, a caveat, a wet-floor sign.

A few months ago, it came to me that I'd like to become a wildlife educator. I'm quite passionate about animals, and I know that the best way to protect animals is to educate people - kids and adults alike - so they'll gain a respect for Nature and, hopefully, want to protect it. Okay, this is good, got a plan, here we go.

I looked into a home-study Conservation program. It wasn't unreasonably expensive and, although it probably wouldn't allow me to jump right into a career, it would be a good base for further education and would at least get me going in the right direction. Not soon after I got this information, one of our cats needed some medical care that was expensive...then our old furnace died right in the middle of winter...then my husband's car required repairs that weren't cheap.

So much for outlaying any money for school.

My current job is boring me to tears, and has for quite some time, so I told myself that once the pastor got back from his five-month sabbatical in May, I'd start actively looking for a new job. The day after Easter, I found out my husband is going to be laid off within the next 12 months, so I almost don't dare trying to jump jobs.

Rather than acting the victim, I'm curious to know why the Universe is guiding me toward a different path than the one I was trying to choose.